I had the opportunity to perform a 10min set for a group of mostly friends and coworkers at the Chicago Center for the Performing Arts (AKA. The Edge Comedy Club). A big thanks to everyone that made it out in the subzero weather.
For those that couldn't make it (or just didn't want to) here is my set from last night:
If you'd like to see some more live comedy in the Chicago area, be sure to check out the Edge Comedy Club website.
I'm not a big fan of the Survivor series, and didn't even know who Johnny Fairplay was until a few weeks ago. Apparently he was on Survivor: Pearl Islands where he lied about his grandmother dying on National television.
Another interesting fun fact, Johnny got pwned by Danny Bonaduce on the Fox Reality Awards Show. Whether you watch survivor or not, you'll love this clip.
I love how when the ladder first slips he covers by saying, "Now it's locked in place." Then immediately after his face plant he says, "Actually, I didn't have it locked." If I was watching this infomercial late at night, I probably would've had a laughter induced heart attack. This guy just keeps going, trying to sell this wacky ladder.
I hate stereotypes, but some of the contestants in the Miss Teen USA pageant this year were as dumb as rocks (and I'd like to sincerely apologize if I've offended any rocks). Take the contestant from South Carolina for example. She was asked why 1/5th of Americans can't locate the United States on a map. I'm guessing that she falls well within that fifth.
I hope watching this video has helped the U.S. help Asian countries and South America so we will be able to build up our future. And I mean that from the bottom of my heart.
I came across this short video a week or two ago, and by looking at all remixes and copies out there, I'd say this video has officially gone viral. Check it out:
Short, simple, and hilarious. I love how the news correspondent has to fight back laughter due to the completely random comment. Way to go Jonathan!
I feel bad for the kid in this video. I don't know if he's just scared of being on TV or if he's deathly afraid of Elmo. Either way, his reactions are just hilarious. Check it out:
After my week long vacation, I came back to my desk to find it exactly as I left it. No offlice supplies molded in Jello, no thumb tacks in my chair, and no computer settings tampered with. How disappointing! All I found was a full email inbox. Boo! Where's the creativity?
Messing with someone's workspace while they're away is not only a compliment, but hilarious! Hell, the first day back after a long vacation is useless anyway. You think that person wants to get back to work? No F'in way!
A good desk/office prank is the perfect way to say, "I missed you enough to make your first day back interesting." Because, Lord knows, your first day back from vacation is going to suck. It just will. Too bad these people weren't my co-workers (I could've used the excitement):
If one of your co-workers is going on vacation soon, you owe it to them to rock their corporate world!
Don't let the title fool you. This feature isn't available yet, but it's the funniest and most fully realized suggestion I've seen so far. Not only is this a idea great, the execution alone is worth the watch. Think Conan O'Brian meets Apple's iPhone commercial.
In the past, being a celebrity meant that you were celebrated by the masses. Today being a celebrity is closer to being tolerated than celebrated. Take Pari$ Hiltoon for instance (I'm purposely misspelling her name to ensure my blog isn't associated with her), she doesn't DO anything. She has no discernible talent other than being able to spend her parent's money. Why should she be celebrated ?
Here's an even better question: Why is she newsworthy? Answer: She isn't, and MSNBC's Mika Brzezinski makes sure of it.
You want to know why “the terrorists” hate us? It's because do-nothings like Pari$ Hiltoon are the top news stories instead of, well, that war that's been going on.
Call her crazy if you will, but I believe that Mika Brzezinski should be celebrated. Now that's a real celebrity.
Everyone has been talking about the new host of The Price is Right, but let's not forget the real stars of the show...the contestants. Here we have a video of what could be the dumbest contestant in the show's history. Who said it pays to be smart? Check this out:
As an on again/off again Chicago comedian, I enjoy seeing other Chicago comedians get out there and showcase their talent. To help support local comedians, I thought I would give a shout out to Blerds.com for their amazingly directed shorts (Think "Shorties Watching Shorties" without thinking about how lame that show was). Please watch the following videos, and be sure to check out Blerds for more of the same:
This next video has gone viral, and I just don't understand why. The song is called "Chocolate Rain", and from what I've been reading people actually like this song. I, on the other hand, think this guy should not only move away from the mic when he breathes, he should avoid microphones all together. Check it out yourself:
For someone who is all about comedy, I've been doing everyone an injustice by not mentioning The Flight of the Conchords. They're the 4th most popular folk parody duo in New Zealand, and the funniest new show in America. If you've never heard of The Flight of the Conchords, it's like New Zealand and Tenacious D had a comedic love child.
If you don't know anything about New Zealand, don't worry about it (you're probably American). You'll still find this next video to be chuckle worthy (Go America!):
I finally found my favorite song on the summer. So, put a slice of citrus fruit in a light beer and enjoy the sweet sounds of summer courtesy of Andy's Val Gourmet:
A great clip from the Maury Povich Show (even I'm surprised) during one of his paternity test segments. When Maury drops the verdict, get ready for some entertainment:
Growing up, I was a bit of a video game nut. The first thing I would do when I got home from school was fire up my NES/SNES, mash buttons, and tune out the world. At that point, I'm pretty sure all I wanted to do was play video games; However, I never got around to writing a song about it. Thankfully this group of kids did. Bonus points if you can make it through the entire song. Get ready to laugh:
Here is a great comedy, viral video from Joey and David at...wait for it...JoeyandDavid.com. If you've ever seen the Gap Boyfriend Trouser commercial on TV you'll certainly get a kick out of this:
Here is a performance by Bill Hicks on one of Dennis Miller's shows. I appologize for not knowing the exact date, or the exact name of the show, but it showcases many of my favorite Bill Hicks bits. So hit play, minimize the window (if you're at work), and enjoy the comedic genius that is Bill Hicks.
I'm in a Bill Hicks kind of mood today, so I thought I would share some of his standup with you. For those who don't know who Bill Hicks is, he was a comic, satirist, social commentator, and more. His comedy could be very dark and angry at times, but all he wanted was to make the world a better place. Bill died of pancreatic cancer in 1994, but his comedy and message still live on.
This is probably the most realistic depiction of chat room sex I've ever seen (not that I've tried). Don't worry, it's safe for work (no nudity, just laughs):
This video was created by Tim Heidecker and Eric Wareheim. If you enjoy their comedy stylings be sure to check out their Cartoon Network show Tom Goes to the Mayor. Your ass will be laughed off.
Are you sick and tired of being intimidated by others? Are you looking to ask your boss for a raise or just sick and tired of being pushed around?
Well here's a little trick from the Upright Citizens Brigade that will give you the confidence boost you need. By the way, do you have any pennies in your pocket?
When it comes to funny videos, watching stupid criminals get arrested ranks pretty high on my list. That's why I love bait cars.
A bait car is a car used by law enforcement to capture car thieves doing what they do best...stealing cars. These cars are equipped with GPS locators, hidden video and audio surveillance systems, and a remote control immobilizer (meaning cops can cut the engine and lock the doors of the car remotely). It's like Lojack meets Americas Funniest Home Videos!
Enough talking, lets get to the action. Here we have two female car thieves hoping to trade a stolen pickup truck for some crystal meth. Bonus laugh: Be sure to watch their "boss" as he enjoys a quick booger treat.
This next car thief is a real "glass half full" kind of guy. When the cops remotely cut off his engine, he doesn't get angry, he uses the extra time to smoke crack. Now that's looking on the bright side!
There are plenty of other classic bait car scenes out there. Just search for "bait car" on YouTube, or go to baitcar.com and enjoy the action. Too bad these videos aren't narrated by Bob Saget.
I don't mean to brag (I do), but I've been a Stephen Colbert enthusiast for years. I first saw Colbert on the short lived Dana Carvey Show, and I knew then that he, and fellow cast member Steve Carell, would go far. I called it back it 98.
Now Stephen Colbert is HUGE (told ya so), and I'd like to take a moment to share an early report of his from the Dana Carvey Show:
Since switching to an iMac back in 2000, I've grown more and more critical of Microsoft. Not only did I have a much better computing experience on the Mac OS, I realized why I dislike so many Microsoft products. They copy instead of innovate.
Microsoft's new slogan should be, "We do that too". You liked the playstation 2? Try an xbox. You like the ipod? Try a Zune. You like Google? Try Windows Live. You like Mac OSX? Try Windows Vista.
When was the last time Microsoft had an original idea?
Take a look at this comparison of Windows Vista and Mac OSX and see for yourself:
If that doesn't make you think twice about Microsoft, let's meet Microsoft's longest-serving employee, Steve Ballmer, after he became Microsoft's CEO in 2000:
I laughed out loud as Steve desperately screamed "Give it up for me!" on stage while running around like a crazed maniac. This is the same guy that required vocal cord surgery after screaming "Windows, windows, windows" during a 1991 meeting in Japan.
Steve Ballmer is excited in the video, because Microsoft made him a billionaire even though he was neither a founder nor a relative of a founder. In 2003 Steve Ballmer got rid of the same employee stock program that made him Forbes Magazine's 24th richest person in the world. No wonder he screamed, "Give it up for me". Perhaps he should've replaced “it” with “your stock purchase plan”.
Since this post is turning into a full out bash of Microsoft, I thought I would also share this video:
So far the only benefit of owning a PC, that I've heard, are the games. Personally, I’d rather play games with an innovator (I’m looking at you Nintendo).
If you're like me, you're probably sick of hearing about the Oscars. If you’re not like me, you’re probably STILL sick of hearing about the Oscars, so Instead of talking about the wins, losses, after parties, and other extravagant wastes of time, I thought I’d share a funny Oscar themed video.
This particular video comes from The Dana Carvey Show circa 1997 staring Steve Carell and Stephen Colbert (two personal favorites). Although not culturally sensitive by any stretch of the imagination, I still hope you enjoy this video:
By now we all know that the founders of YouTube are filthy stinking rich, but they would never say it themselves. Think again! Thanks to this brilliantly done voice over, you can get a taste of what it’s like when Google buys your company…
I know that George Washington was the first President of the United States, he had a critical role in founding the United States, and he chopped down a cherry tree. Beyond that, I had no idea how cool he really was (or how many penises he had). Check out this video and get educated…
Next time you bust out a One Dollar Bill show some respect!
