ProjectMatt.com » Retired Standup

Winter Weather Reports

ProjectMatt — Fri, 05 Mar 2010 22:52:19 +0000

Video Description

Winter weather reports in Chicago make me and meteorologists emotional.

This video is part of a series called Retired Standup. Giving old jokes one last laugh before they’re left abandoned on YouTube. Subscribe to Project Matt on YouTube, and say “hey” to all my old jokes. Stay tuned each Friday.

Music provided by:

StudioCashman.com

I Don’t Watch Sports

ProjectMatt — Fri, 19 Feb 2010 18:34:46 +0000

Video Description

I’m not the biggest sports fan, and this tends to upset some people.

Music provided by:

StudioCashman.com

I Hate Checks

ProjectMatt — Fri, 12 Feb 2010 15:39:20 +0000

Video Description

I hate checks. Hate em. I can’t believe that they were actually a form of payment at some point. Now I need to find creative ways to get rid of all my old checks.

Music provided by:

StudioCashman.com

My Name is Matt

ProjectMatt — Fri, 05 Feb 2010 16:08:11 +0000

I recently introduced myself to someone and they said, “Matt ? Is that short for Matthew ?”
Seriously ?

This video is part of a series called Friday Funnies. Stay tuned each Friday for more quick bits and fast laughs. (i.e. SUBSCRIBE)

Closing Music Provided by:

StudioCashman.com

Laundromats & Smooth Jazz

ProjectMatt — Fri, 29 Jan 2010 15:09:10 +0000

A Little Background…

I wrote this bit the year my apartment didn’t have it’s own laundry room. So, after about a year I started to be able to recognize particular smooth jazz songs and this upset me. I wrote down, “I do my laundry at a laundromat, so I think I know a thing or two about smooth jazz.”

Later in the bit I make a reference to a song called “Captain Banana”. I did not make this song up. I was around 10 or 12 years old and in line at a McDonald’s drive thru with my friend Dan. His dad was a bit of a Smooth Jazz afficinado, and it was probably his only escape from the noise of two spastic kids in the back seat.

After a particularly jumpy smooth jazz ditty, the DJ’s Zoloft infused voice let the audience know that they had just been listening to a song called “Captain Banana”. Dan and I found this to be the funniest thing in the world.

If you know where this song can be found, please post a link in the comments.

Video Description

I do my laundry at a laundromat, so I think I know a thing or two about smooth jazz.

Music provided by:

StudioCashman.com

Lost Cat and Missed Opportunities

ProjectMatt — Fri, 22 Jan 2010 13:44:23 +0000

A Little Background…

I’m not particularly proud of this bit. I don’t proclaim it to be brilliant, but it did okay most times I used it. I later heard a few different takes on this premise from other more prominent comedians, and it made my version seem really hacky (hackie?). If anything I would try using this joke if I forgot my next bit or if I needed to bring an audience back a bit (some audiences don’t mind poor quality jokes).

Either way I’m excited to let this one go, never to be performed again. If anything, I got a pretty sweet cat drawing out of it. I’m not sure I would have found myself drawing a cat if it weren’t for this joke.

Video Description:

A lost cat is found that doesn’t quite fit the bill.

This video is the first in a series called Retired Standup. Giving old jokes one last laugh before they’re left abandoned on YouTube. Subscribe to Project Matt on YouTube, and say “hey” to all my old jokes. Stay tuned each Friday.

Closing music provided by Ryan Cashman:

StudioCashman.com